Be Kind To Yourself...

......I heard this today and at first I thought...wow I feel like a female....but upon further consideration I couldn't see how one could operate in this world without that message. Jesus Christ says that we should love others the way that we love ourselves...as if it is just assumed that this self-love is innate...that obviously everyone must love themselves...but this assumption is not always the case...and if one does not love themselves...or is lacking greatly in that area...how are they loving others? It would seem impossible...but that doesn't change the command.

So how does one go about being kind to themselves? loving themselves?

I met with a friend over coffee this morning and he asked me to continually ask God what He thinks of me. Just throughout my day...when I'm sitting in class, when I'm on the CAT BUS, when I'm walking around aimlessly, when I'm laughing with my friends, when I feel like I'm the only person in the world and just want to hide from everyone or when I'm functioning on all cylinders (as my friend Nolton would say)...I'm cynical of this exercise..as I am cynical about most things...but we will see how this turns out...I am definitely hopeful...hopeful that healing will come...


some of my friends decided that they are going to make a movie...and they want me to help with a script...I've got this opening so far...

"Too many people live accepting things the way they are…like a lobster in a tank just waiting to be cooked for some snobby Corporate American trying to impress their co-workers. They never realize that there is more to life…they can climb out of the tank...that they are allowed to leave the place they grew up in…that they are allowed to marry who they want…that they can tell a woman that her baby is ugly and that she takes after her mother…that unattainable dreams…only belong to those who never dream at all"

This movie is going to be a tragicomeromahorrmentary....


One of My good friends has a deep obsession with Africa....she is constantly immersed in conversations of genocide, corrupt government, and displaced children and families. She has a clear heart for Africa and still believes that things can change...I fear that I've given up hope...that I just feel helpless, like there is nothing I can do so I just don't help at all. For her it is not the case. One small contribution through a fair trade purchase, or a prayer to our Merciful Lord that he would enact justice on the African continent...she is foolish enough to believe that these things actually make a difference. I admire her foolishness. She is clearly more African than she is American.

It's too bad that we live in a society where lack of pride in America is considered hatred or anti-patriotic. I claim America, I love being a citizen of this country, I am glad that there are troops out fighting to protect the basic freedoms I enjoy and that hopefully if I have children that they will enjoy too, but I refuse to be prideful about
it...how can I take pride when so many people in this world are experiencing daily injustice (sex trafficking, human slavery, displacement, extreme poverty/hunger) while I sit around and check my email while eating a bagel with cream cheese(that I could get for free if I wanted)...

"if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom
from myself and from the land"

I don't think I or anyone should feel guilty about enjoying all the blessings God has given us...but I should feel guilty about keeping silent...about not speaking up for the poor, and the broken, and the abused, and the sexually violated. Woman...created so beautiful by God to be instruments of love, kindess, and mercy for God's kingdom...to be in union with a man...and one man...to enjoy sexual intercourse as one flesh...a beautiful thing turned awry by the sinful desires of man...stripping the innocence and guiltlessness away from woman by forcing sex on them, or forcing them to have sex with other men in for monetary gain. Woman that sell themselves for money in order to feed their children while they are dying of Aids...how can my ear be deaf? Frankly, a lot of times I just can't care...but i'm learning to...

"God restore unto me the joy of my salvation
Help me to know you, and be like you more this day
Lord, I boldly pray that you would bring healing
to all of the women who are suffering from a sexual hell
that you did not intend
and to have them understand just how much you love them
and just how beautiful you think they are...
Lord, do not let us become apathetic towards the lack
of justice that we experience on this earth
but help us to be peacemakers in the darkest places
of this earth, and that we would find strength in that
you would bring peace to our dark hearts....
In your Son's powerful name and through his ultimate sacrifice
we pray..."